Self Awareness and Personal Mastery

This is about knowing yourself, knowing others, and watching and being aware of what is happening - 'managing the process'.  This is particularly important where emotions are involved.  It's easy to get tripped by the way we feel, and hard to manage this.  Being aware how you are feeling is a key part of being able to manage the process and avoiding getting stuck or distracted from what you were doing.

Peter Senge set out some ideas about this in his "Fifth Discipline" books.  The key is to be able to step back from the activity and see what is happening from outside - and manage this.  Often, what we do gets in the way of getting where we want to be: understanding what is happening and managing the process helps get around those blocks.

Some ideas to help:

Seek Feedback

What impact do you actually have on other people?  You may know what impact you'd like to make (do you?  if not... you should!) but you don't know.  So - ask!

As well as thinking about what business or process outcome you want from a meeting or any contact with others, think about what personal outcomes you want to achieve - for example, you might want to improve and build on relationships.  Think about what how you need to conduct yourself before the meeting, and then ask whether you suceeded. 

Keep a journal

A good way to reflect on meetings and discussions, planned or unplanned.  Note what went well, and what went bady.  How might you change it next time?  A good way to make sure you gain experience, rather than having the same experience time and time again...

Moments of Awareness - "Remember MA"

(Peter Senge, 5th Discipline)

Simply take a moment to ask - how am I feeling right now?  What is the mood of this group, this person?  Why?  Do I need to take a moment to centre myself before we start - or even defer, if you've carrying a lot of baggage.  Form this as a habit, and it's easier to do.

The Machiavellian theory of intelligence suggests that a lot of the reason we developed comparatively large brains was in response to having to deal with other humans - an evolutionary arms race.  Our interactions with others are complex, particularly where there's something difficult to tackle - a situation generally known as "life".  It's a good idea to think through the way such conversations are likely to go, and to have a plan for what you want to achieve before you start.  There are a number of models setting out ways to do this: good references are the books on "Crucial Conversations" and "Crucial Conflicts" - see "Books" in resources.

Being aware of the process is a key part of Facilitation - but the starting point for is to be self aware and to manage oneself.